Monday, April 29, 2013

the Story of a Boy

This is the story of a boy. (you got that from the title, right?) He is the kindest, loving, most amazing child you could ever meet; except when he's not.

He has always been sweet and kind and loving, but the past few years have showed us another side to him. He gets very easily frustrated. He is down on himself often and will hit himself in the head, bite his own arm or make disparaging comments about himself. He is struggling in school. even though he makes good grades, he has to work VERY hard to get them.

He is absolutely growing up. At least his body is. Mom has been shocked to find underarm hair on her "little" boy even though the sweet blonde curls are still there along with the dimpled, fat baby hands. He is eleven.

This school year has been the turning point, or maybe the breaking point. He has never been a strong reader, but he has always loved learning and loved books. When History class became a problem, we realized we had to do more. That "more" involved signing him up for reading tutoring at Sylvan Learning Centers as well as requesting Learning Disability testing from the school. (we actually tried to have him tested 2 years ago but didn't get anywhere.)

We filled out tons of paperwork, over and over and over. We sent emails and made phone calls and drove him, 30 miles each way, twice a week for tutoring. We had a meeting with the school system, they agreed to test him and we waited. And Waited. And waited some more.

While we were waiting, we signed him up on a waiting list to test specifically for Dyslexia. We were told it would be "at least" three months. We are still waiting on that.  We also took him to see a Psychiatrist for an ADHD evaluation. This involved more waiting. Apparently those guys are busy and it takes several weeks to schedule an initial appointment, more paperwork, and then waiting on the actual evaluation/test, and then waiting on the results and a follow up appointment with your Psychiatrist. Tom Petty nailed it when he sang, "The waiting is the hardest part."

So, here we are. Some of the waiting is over and some has just begun. The school results were the first to come back. They showed an IQ in the "normal" range, which i have to say, honestly shocked me. He really seems a bit above average to me, but hey, I am his mom. His Achievement tests did not show a "Significant Learning Discrepancy," which means he does not qualify for Special Ed. in our school system. sigh.

I don't know if that should relieve me, that he is "normal" or not, but I came home and cried for about 2 days. I have to say it is a real blow to a mother when you realize your "above average" child, is just "average." Not only that, but you realize that the 'system' is not going to help you and you are on your own.

Next came the information from the Psychiatrist. He has ADD, not ADHD. That means he struggles with inattention only and not also hyperactivity. oh.boy. As the Doctor was flipping though his file, he also mumbled something about "Autism Spectrum behaviors" and I think I was in too much shock to ask a coherent question about that. We agreed to try and treat the symptoms naturally before jumping to medication, especially since the school says they don't see any symptoms of inattention.  We have also agreed to counselling for the kid who doesn't know how to talk about what he's feeling or simply has no opinion about what's going on.

At this point, this little story becomes less about a boy and more about a mom. A mom who has been reading and researching for months. Everyone and everything she reads offers a different opinion and of course thinks theirs is correct. I can see how deciding to give him a pill would be easier. The pressure is off me. The Doctors can figure out what's working and what's not. Instead, I am bombarded with: whole foods, traditional foods, Feingold diet, Gluten free diet, Dairy Free diet, Salicylates, fish oil, vitamins, no vitamins, and the list goes on and on and on.  I don't know where to start, what will work for us and what won't. I already feel like some choice(s) I made somewhere maybe the cause of all of this anyway.

I have started him on some essential oils applied topically that some people I actually know have had very good luck with. I have ordered some YUMMY fish oil for him as well. I have a meeting with a nutritional coach this week. I pray constantly that God will show me the path that is right for us, for him. Now it is back to waiting. It could take several weeks to several months before any of this has a noticeable affect. I guess I will try to blog about it to keep up with it as much for myself as to share our story.

Life was so much easier when I didn't have pieces of my heart walking around in other people's bodies!

1 comment:

Beverly Bowden-Smith said...

Thank you for sharing :) God looked at the world and said "nope, not quite right" and so he made this boy. And now the world is a better place because he is in it. He is blessed beyond measure to have a mom that will fight so hard for him. Phew, good thing you have those combat boots on!